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Date:Thursday November 06, 2008
From:
v-bug (real name 1303s super beetle)
it's me again v-bug. i'm having
a real bad day!
why? well i'll tell ya.
i'm alans first love his 1303s 1976 vw super beetle. i have
curves to die for. my color glows, my chromes gleam, my
lights are like stars in the moonlight sky.
but ... it isnt
enough for him these days.
so i'm taking some time to write
to you from alans PC while he is out with HER!
yes he is out with a younger model!
what do you think of that?
shes green (urgh) 25 years younger
than me, has all the curves and bends in the right places
and has more energy than a snickers bar!
but i know alans best color is
orange. he is orange mad. orange bikes. orange shoes. heck he
even has an orange guitar.
and -- i am also orange so he loves
me right!
you'd think that'd make a little
bug like me feel good right? wrong.
i am so scared i'm not sure if my
little 12 volts will get me through this!
you see he is out seeing
a car surgeon to customize the new bug
he is with her right now. the car surgeon is
going to rebuild this green bug of the new millennium into an bright
orange custom bug.
silicone implants, creases and
lines removed, big fat new wheels, new everything. help me.
shes even having her rear end lifted to make a perfect round
shape.
the truth; i love alan. hes good at
what he does. the other evening this guy in this old ford
capri (1980 laser 1.6i) called on him alan.
he paid alan a stack of cash. he
said it was a bonus. the bonus was cause alans marketing
ideas had made him a load of new profits.
i'm telling you alans very good.
he is so good he is doing this
masterclass
in a place called canada. they even have big bears and
eagles there!
he is doing it with another famous
guy. brian keith voiles. he doesnt drive a v-bug but that
doesnt make him bad. he supposed to be dead good at
copywriting as well.
here is proof alan is dead
brilliant at his job.
he can afford to put that green bug
in for a summer renovation. hes out in his farm in the sun
building bugs. his friends (who dont drive v-bugs either)
are all stuck in sweaty offices! ha-ha.
let me ask you this wise guy. does
that sound like a failure at work?
anyway look im getting fed up now,
my ball joints are aching so let me ask ...
1. if you support me -- tell alan
he is going real proper nuts
2. if you want me to see a surgeon
so alan will love me again email -- him and tell him to act
his age and come back to me
3. if you want to spend summer days
rebuilding v-bugs or doing your own thing alan'll show you
how freedom can come to you at his
masterclass
(he is dead good i promise you)
look i'm outta here now. i gotta
think my life through before she gets back with her new
look.
love (the real) v-bug
p.s if she (25 year younger green bug)ever writes to you dont read her emails i dont think
she'll be good for anything. i'm the only classy one around
here!
p.p.s have you ever tried to write
with 215 radials on? well before you complain about my typos
and stuff think about that one buster!
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