Direct Mail Before & After ... The Lead Letter I began writing direct mail around 1994 for my own businesses. One series of mailers we used for years increased my business around 65% so I understand the power behind direct mail.
So I thought I'd very quickly show you this little before and after I write for a client years ago. The after blew the before out of the park as you can see.
Anyway here it is, enjoy
BEFORE Dear ………….. Need to generate more sales? Does the following sound familiar Lack of leads Difficulty penetrating new markets Poor quality pipeline High turnover of sales staff Lack of quality sales resource Seasonal sales trends Expensive sales overhead Low marketing ROI
If so you need to talk to Boulder Technologies. We are an out-sourced sales and marketing company that provides our clients with new business opportunities for their organisation. Our consultants will work with you and your staff to strategically plan a focused campaign, leading to the desired results your organisation is looking for.
Boulder offer the following services;
AFTER Finally! A guaranteed system to take over all (or part) of your sales and marketing needs, or simply complement your existing staff to boost your customer base and your sales — without all the hassles of hiring, training and managing them... From telemarketing to lead generation!
"How Do You Generate Hundreds of New Leads Within Days? Increase Your Market Share Fast? Eliminate ALL Ongoing Recruitment Costs of Your Sales and Marketing People Instantly? With An Initial FREE Consultation, Of Course!"
"From telephone, fax and direct mail marketing; to hiring, training and compensating skilled salespeople; to launching, rolling out and building awareness for new products successfully into the marketplace, we can help! And only for a fraction of the cost of doing it all yourself!"
"And unlike having your own staff, you can START and STOP anytime... ... Without the usual HR headaches and costly ramifications!"
Don't worry if you're unsure. Simply ring us at UK 00 44 (0) 1234 56789 to find out if we can help you, how we can help you and how much money we can help you put straight into your bottom-line! And until March 15th, 2003, your consultation is absolutely FREE of charge!
Could you see the difference? I have seen direct mailers get as high as a 47% response rate where the previous version failed. Saying the right thing at the right time can and will make a huge difference.
Changing words from ...
Could you (by implication is saying, maybe you can't) Would you (by implication is saying, you could but you won't) Should you (by implication is applying a hidden factor that could be guilt-laden which creates resentment which dulls response)
Of course, all have their place to the right targets.
If you need help to get your message right all you have to do is ask. I critique sales copy, create sales letters and use words so you get the reaction you need from your targets.